General Cleaning

Nobody's Girl.
I am .. as nobody owns me now, neither do i own anyone, i am free, and i choose to be like this until the right time comes or until the right person comes. I won't look around, i will only go forward, for ward, forward, no more side steps, no more turns, no stepping backs ..
Hope lost me, so i let go of hope .. But i am filled with something different hope cant even outwin. This time i'll let God work for me .. I have a strong desire to forgive, forget and wish for an ideal relationship with everyone, even with them who left me, even with him who hurt me.. I can only see the best things now.. Funny, last night was very short for me to realize that everything has no sense at all when it took me two years (or more) to hold back ..
From now on, I'll be stepping out of his shadow, and let me begin by cleaning the clutter here in my blog, Neil needless to say i should remove our pics because i have already done that a few hours ago.. Ive returned his password to his friendster account, i've returned the key to the apartment, i've erased his number from my celphone, his email from my YM, his and his family's contacts from my Chikka, i've deleted his character in Aruarose, i've done all the possible way to completely erase him from my present life..
I'm trying to live out of his shadows now.. or even before since i left elbi, but only recently i found the courage to leap longer not just merely step forward.
I know i can't be wrong doing this.. how can i be? When it feels just so so so Right !

I Should Love Myself (daw ..)

Once alone in Ayala Ave, Ive met a long lost schoolmate .. I'd be honest, i was surprised because he was totally different from how he was when we were just "kids" .. It was a short five minutes, we were both waiting for a cab, him going to Market Market, and me off to Pacific Star.. I was more surprised when he mentioned, having felt sorry for me.. i would not be able to guess why, but he mentioned that he sort of read some from my friendster profile, some from my friendster blog and some from here .. I was flattered lol.. and even at a short five minutes time we touched so much things, considering we haven't seen each other in the last 15 yrs. He was so different from the way he was before. And in amazement i just stare. It was an extremely nice change. Before I hailed the cab approaching, he took my celphone from my hands and typed his number quickly, made a short call to his own cel to get my contact details, gave me a quick kiss on my cheek and said he'll see me some other time. I never said yes nor affirmed nor refuse, I just smiled..
As i was near the corner of Buendia, i received a msg from him.. "Love Yourself More.. You are one lovely creature to be living with a broken heart.."
And as i get off the cab infront BPI Buendia, i realized, Yeah .. if i cant find love, well then I'll let Love find me..

Emptiness , All There Is

Y__Y
I Don't Know..
Maybe Im just really the emotional type, considering what im going through. This is the first time in 8 years that i will be celebrating Valentines day without somebody. LOL, do i even need to celebrate it?.. My friends say it doesn't matter, not even half of the world enjoys the day, and im part of more than the other half, therefore i may not have somebody, but, i have everyone. LOL whatta consolation..
Honestly, even in the last 8 years, I never remembered spending Valentines day with a Bang.. Talking about luck.. Never had that in my past relationship. Not even a memorable heart warming and feet sweeping Valentines day, what a misfortune.
February 14, fast approaching now, i feel so empty, but i know that deep inside i am extremely lonely. And i know its very shallow, but as each day pass by, i'm getting more and more stressed and i know its showing, i am very irritable now and my patience is down low, im getting tired at simple things , i cant sleep and i feel very sick. Maybe, I am in denial, just trying to be happy when i am truly not, or maybe im trying to cling to the past i am used to, even if i know there wasn't a blissful moment to recall.
Im tired of fearing the holidays, im tired of feeling empty, im so so so tired of being lonely..

Picture Picture Picture !!!

One Tanghali nagtrip kami ng sister ko magpicture picture, eto po ang lumabas pero konti lang ang picture nya dyan kasi po, shy sya heheheh. and dahil blog ko to at hindi kanya kaya puro ako toh.. hehehehe. luv you

Hays pagod..


Sad =( sad =( sad =(

candid nyahahaha

fallen angel (yeah)

look beyond my eyes


Hola hehehe


Without Make Up

Am i Right?


Huh, No Signal?


My sister Pia and Me


Must Sleep .. Y__Y


Pucker those Lips baby!! hehehe

For More Pics Visit Mau at Multiply - http://mauieghurl.multiply.com/photos

Memoirs : Feb 21 1999

Feb 21, 1999 (pic date)

LOL. Look at me >__< .. so young... well we are both very young then.. He was my bestfriend and partner in everything, he was my protector, my constant admirer and yet he was my deepest agony, my most painful struggle, my dream, my inspiration, he was the source of my happiness, my strength, he was my weakness, my most sensitive piece, he was my music, my thought, my wisdom.. He WAS . He isn't anymore and will never ever be.. Im glad ..

23C Graduation WaMu Eperformax

the unbeatables

pyke, icee, anjo, ehmei, mau, julius, rb, shalom , ges

She Says.. He Says.. Its you I want to Fall Inlove with

SHE SAYS...

If you see me walking the road with someone else It's not because I like his company It's because you're not brave enough to walk beside me If you hear me talking about him all the time It's not because he pleases me It's because you're too deaf to hear my heartbeat If you feel me falling in love with someone else It's not because I love him But because you're not there to catch me fall If you feel lost, I am nowhere too I don't know where the road is going Are we gonna cross each other's path? Or just completely turn around? Will we just let go of what we had Or go to the place where love is bound? Don't let me walk with him It's you I want to walk with Don't let me talk of him It's you I want to talk with Don't let me fall in love with him It's you I want to fall in love with...


HE SAYS...
When you though I wasn't brave enough to walk beside you I was behind you every step o f the way Still filled with awe because of the beauty that stands before me When you thought I was too deaf to hear your heartbeat I didn't want to assume anything And I was afraid to lose our friendship When you thought I wasn't there to catch you It's because you never gave me the chance You never reached the bottom, you've already grabbed a branch If you feel like nowhere, I am lost too I don't know where the road is going Are we going to turn around, Or we gonna cross each others' path? Will we just let go of what we had? Or go to the place where love is bound? Don't let me walk alone I want to walk by your side Don't let me talk with someone else It's you I want to talk with Don't let me fall for someone else It's you I want to fall in love with.

Kisses All Over XOXO

Kissing is a blend of passion and romance. It adds that 'wow' factor to a relationship! A great kiss does makes us dizzy with desire - Isn't it? A “kiss” signifies lot of meaning, and as there are so many different kind of kisses... let's get going to see what your lover says when he or she kisses U!

THE VACUUM KISS:
The Vacuum Kiss is performed by "sucking inward as though you were trying to draw out the innards of an orange." The powerful suction on the lips requires must be brief. The lips should not be torn suddenly apart, or a loud smack will startle others nearby. Instead, gently loosen a corner of the mouth to release a faint hissing.

THE BUTTERFLY FLUTTER:
Place your eye within a breath of your partner's cheek. Open and close your eyelids against her skin. Keep in mind that the flutter sensation on her cheek should match the one in her heart!

THE EARLOBE LAP:
Have you ever experimented with light kissing of the lobe? A great control is recommended to avoid loud slurping-- don't forget that the sensitive ear is also an especially sensitized noise detector. (Be careful not to swallow any earrings! Then all your passion will be in vain.)

THE TALKING KISS:
Sweet nothings whispered into the mouth are sweeter than those whispered into the ear! The mouth is the preferred organ for tasting. If caught in the act, simply say, as Chico Marx, "I wasn't kissing her. I was whispering into her mouth."

THE SPYING KISS:
To determine whether you mate has drunk an over abundance of wine.

THE HAND KISS:
The Hand Kiss is requires a bow of subordination to show deference to a lady. Hand Kisses have now fallen out of fashion. It makes an unexpected romantic impression. To perform it , lower your eyes and cup shoulders over the lady's fingers, prolonging the moment when your lips rest on her hand.

THE BUMPER KISS:
Effective when following your lover in a separate car. Wait till he stops his vehicle at a traffic light, then gently ease your car up to his and nudge his bumper. The jolt will jump-start his heart and suggest more intimate nuzzlings to come. (Warning: Do not use the Bumper Kiss on the vehicle of an unknown driver.)

THE SURPRISE KISS:
To begin, gather men and women in a circle and try passing a playing card from mouth to mouth by first inhaling to receive the card and then exhaling to pass the card to the person. If the pass is successful, you will be left feeling pleasantly light headed. If the pass is unsuccessful, the card will slip, leaving your lips pressed to those of your unsuspecting neighbor. (To cheat at this game, simply position yourself beside someone you would like to kiss and pretend you're having trouble mastering the technique.)

THE MISTLETOE KISS:
Useful for those who are too shy to make the leap towards a potential lover's lips without a visible excuse.

THE FOREHEAD KISS:
Kissing on forehead is sign of parental love! Isn't it great when mom or dad give you a kiss on the forehead... it feels like heaven!

THE ESKIMO KISS:
Contrary to popular belief, the Eskimo Kiss is not done merely to keep the lips from freezing together. In fact, some tribes in hot African countries rub or press noses in greeting and use a word for "kiss" that means "smell." In Malaysia, Charles Darwin reported the following: "The woman squatted with their faces upturned; my attendants stood leaning over them, laid the bridge of their noses at right angles over theirs, and commenced rubbing. It lasted somewhat longer than a hearty handshake with us. During this process they uttered a grunt of satisfaction."

THE HICKEY KISS:
It may take some practice to create a personalized hickey in the your favorite shape! No need to get fancy. The main objective is simply to avoid drawing blood while leaving your mark that will prove to your sweetheart (and all her girlfriends) that last night's interlude was not a dream!

THE FRENCH KISS:
Some call this "The Soul Kiss," because the life and soul are thought to pass through the mouth's breath in the exchange across tongues. Surprisingly, the French call this "The English Kiss."

THE AUNT SALLY SPECIAL:
A hearty smack to the cheek, done with puckered, slobbery, lipstick lips. The female kisser should employ the Aunt Sally Special when a sobering note is needed during an escalating affair. If done right, this smooch will cause your partner to stop and wipe the spit of his cheek, which, in turn, will allow you to fix your hair and adjust your skirt.

THE FOOT KISS:
People with ticklish feet will find the Foot Kiss quite funny, but just relax and enjoy it. Afterward, an extra touch of romance can be added by sending a little note signed "QBSP" (Quien besa su pie--"Who kisses your feet"), which once was the fashionable line with which to close correspondence in Spain.

THE NIP KISS:
The procedure is the same as the ordinary kiss except that, instead of closing your lips with the kiss, you leave them slightly open, as though you were going to nibble on a delicious tidbit.

THE MARATHON MAKE-OUT KISS:
In the words of Elizabeth Barrett Browning, it is "as long and silent as the ecstatic might."

THE LAST KISS:
In ancient Rome, custom had it that the Last Kiss would capture the soul of a dying man and keep it alive in the lips of his lover.

Taken from one of my favorite articles : valentines4all

The Bigger Leap

LOL . I haven't been even certified and yet i wrote this. Well, not that i'm confident i will pass it but i know that i can do my best at times, and one of those time MUST be, tonight . Lol

Well, i guess everyone's clueless.. and even my constant blogger friends and blog readers wont be able to comprehend. Okay, here's how it goes..
After a long time hibernation from the real-world i've decided to to step out of the world again and reclaim myself. I found a job in one of the call centers in Makati and believe me, not in my closest imagination i thought of being with this company. However I gave it a chance, anyways, Im trying to live my life away from the "usual things" and i'm striving , this time doing some "unusual ways". Err, im not selling drugs LOL.
I must admit that letting go of myself is tasting sweeter and sweeter each day. I never thought that meeting people, having friends, being with a company would be so much fun that im really getting addicted to it..But being the independent person that i am, i know that people come and go into our lives and that nothing in this universe is more permanent than change.
Well, after almost a month of classroom training, our class will be dispersed to different subteams with different scheds and Offs, Huh..I dont like that, but well, thats how it really goes, we dont trully expect our schedules would be so uptight we cant even have a common rest day, i guess, the videoke and beer days are gone, too soon.. =( . Sad..
My life right now is not perfect, but it certainly is not the worst, in fact, i'm happy, yes i am and its been so long since i last said I was.
My new friends taught me a lot of things i should have known already at my age , but only recently i learned that its okay to get close and to get lost, to belong and to depart, that its okay to laugh your heart out today even when you know, it will break tomorrow. at the moment, im learning to enjoy even things that would not last, im learning to accept momentary beauty, im beginning the see the importance of existence, no matter how short, how simple,no matter how odd..

WaMu 23C

So for everyone, thank you so much for your friendship.. We wont stop here guys, we will see each other from both ends of the floor right? Anjo, James, Vada, Ehmei, Lanie, Icee, Irvin, Julius, Raymond, Louie, Ges, Vince, Pyke.. Everyone, Thank you very much for making me comfortable, cared and remembered. because of you guys..
Im moving forward, im moving on.

For Class 23C

Class 23C. WaMu. Mau Mendoza . Vada Mendoza . Ehmei Acosta . Lanie Tuazon . Pyke Consul . RB Balinas . Anjo Soriano . Ges Dellota . Irvin Domingo . Julius Ang . ICEE . Vince Jagoring . Louie Mercado . James Olega . SHALOM