Huh : Tagged ?

Wow. I just got tagged, i didn't realize people around would remember me, as most (if not all) posts that i have in my blog are my thoughts, actually less ads, as i want it more personalized, but being tagged is just so flattering. So i'm gonna make way for this, and i'm going to answer all questions without inhibitions, just for the sake of simply showing the real me, after all, this is My Corner..

thanks to diwa



1.You are balanced, orderly, and organized. You like your ducks in a row.
Of course, but im not the obsessive compulsive type that needs medical attention already

2.You are powerful and competent, especially in the workplace.
I am, i like competition, and i like winning, i don't stop till i get what i want

3.People can see you as stubborn and headstrong. You definitely have a dominant personality.
Thats true, when i made up my mind, thats something not even the universe can change.

4.You tend to be pretty tightly wound. It's easy to get you excited... which can be a good or bad thing.
Hmmmm.. Its yet to see LOL

5.You have a lot of enthusiasm, but it fades rather quickly. You don't stick with any one thing for very long.
I dont. In thick or thin i stay. I accept. I endure. They say there's no more room in heaven for martyrs, well then...

6.You have the drive to accomplish a lot in a short amount of time. Your biggest problem is making sure you finish the projects you start.
Sometimes, its common to loose interest along the way, but mostly, i am very diligent to
my obligations.

7.You are very charming... dangerously so. You have the potential to break a lot of hearts.
Yeah, thats right! but given that fact ive been loyal to the only person who broke my
heart.

8.You know how what you want, how to get it, and that you will get it.
Sure thing, otherwise if i know i cant get it i wont even think about it.

9.You have the power to rule the world. Let's hope you're a benevolent dictator!
Whoah.. rule the world huh. ^___^

10.You are usually the best at everything ... you strive for perfection.
Yes.. Perfect makes perfect.

11.You are confident, authoritative, and aggressive.
Yup.. but being also negative attracts negative impression, anyhow, who cares, you cannot really please everyone, right ?

12.You have the classic "Type A" personality.
Huh??

13.You are a seeker. You often find yourself restless - and you have a lot of questions about life.
Sometimes.. lalim naman ..

14.You tend to travel often, to fairly random locations. You're most comfortable when you're far away from home.
Sometimes.. i did that once but i felt i left my heart at home it was very troubling, and yet i
think i did right, it was something i really have to do, not just for the sake of trying it but
also for self fulfillment.

15.You are quite passionate and easily tempted. Your impulses sometimes get you into trouble.
Not really.. I am righteous at most times if i dont know what to choose, i play safe..

16.You are very intuitive and wise. You understand the world better than most people.
Try me.. LOL

17.You also have a very active imagination. You often get carried away with your thoughts.
Depends on what im thinking..

18.You are prone to a little paranoia and jealousy. You sometimes go overboard in interpreting signals.
Unfortunately, yes. LOL

19.You are deeply philosophical and thoughtful.
I am..

20.You tend to analyze every aspect of your life.
Not there yet..

21.You are intuitive, brilliant, and quite introverted. You value your time alone.
I guess so, at times i just want to be isolated from the rest of the world and enjoy time. by
myself..

22.You don't appreciate them trying to interfere in your affairs.
Definitely not.

23.You are full of energy. You are spirited and boisterous.
Hmm.. im very moody...

24.You are bold and daring. You are willing to do some pretty outrageous things.
Yes, at times, but not always, i like surprises so i love giving one too!!

25.Your high energy sometimes gets you in trouble. You can have a pretty bad temper at times.
Hehehe i guess so..

26.You are a free spirit, and you resent anyone who tries to fence you in.
No, im not like that.

27.You are unpredictable, adventurous, and always a little surprising.
A little of everything does not hurt right?

28.You may miss out by not settling down, but you're too busy having fun to care.
Not applicable at the moment, nyahahaha

All I Need Is Love

Somewhere in the web you will find this, yes, because i wrote it it a few years back.

Dear,

I'm quite sure you wont even bother reading my blog, i don't even know if you are aware i have one, nonetheless, i need you to listen to me, even just by simply scrolling down till the end..
When i met you, i realized how good it is to love and have someone. Those where the happiest days of my life, i was proud and blessed to have you, as a partner as a friend as a lover, we've been through good and bad times together, we made a great team, we've never left each other no matter what. I felt secured having you, contented in the thought that i have you to love me.
I admit that ours is not a perfect relationship, but to be perfect means to go through imperfections, flaws, misunderstandings, throughout the years, there were countless of those trials that made us stronger, more mature in this so called relationship bound by love.Thats what i have always believed.

I don't know what happened,because in the midst of everything, i suddenly felt that some things are slipping away, I don't know, i have a feeling that something isn't right but i was too afraid to know and realize that i'm right.One morning i woke up and you're already gone and i felt like dying. I beg you asked you to stay, come back... come back to me... this is just like the other mornings when fates tries to butt into our relationship, i guess i was baby, i truly want to think i'm mistaken thou i don't feel like one..

People judge me because i opted to keep you, People said that i should let you go, and i know that in my heart in its deepest, i sure want to do the same thing, but i cannot i dont know, i just cant.. It pains me in the thought that i can freely give my life for you but i cant give you your own happiness, because i know that your happiness is away from me, so much away from me, i was afraid that you will take with you the biggest part of me, and that i will never be fine anymore, im so afraid to loose you thou in my heart i want to let you go.

I guess im such a looser cause i cant accept that fact that after only 7 years that we are together you have stopped loving me, No this cant be happening, this is not true, I would always want to believe that someday i will realize that this just temporary, then again the pain is just too much, too much for me to be in denial.. How can you come to my life, beg me to love you and leave me just like that?..

Every night i pray that you will somehow learn to love me again ,little by little, endless nights, endless prayers, Thou i was happy in thought that were still together, but i'm afraid that because you don't feel the same way, You'll unconsciously hurt my feelings, and you did, i guess i no longer need to tell you how often i cry and how much i know, i just don't intend to start another fight, because then again you'll just tell me i don't have to endure everything, because i can always go..those words are even far hurtful than everything i've come to know..

I don't know until when i can stand loving you, keeping you or punishing you, I cannot really tell, But i sure want everything to change for the better, I still pray, i still hope, and believe in the best even at situations as worst as this. I never asked for too much when i met you 8 years back, but only to be my friend, and more than thankful of me because you gave me much..

All i need is love, just love ...

So easy for you to insist me to take more than what i ask you for.and now aking everything back.. more than you ever gave.. leaving me with less than nothing.

Years back i told you.. all i need is love.

Just Love..

I wrote this letter 2 years ago, and i have it posted somewhere in the cyberspace also, now i read it once again and it felt different, i felt happier, although i am still hurting, i felt something dissimilar to how i feel when i wrote it, i guess, i'm doing right.. even if it takes longer, or.. two steps forward, a step back.

People Come Into Your Life For A Reason

People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime. When you know which one it is, you will know what to do for that person. When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually. They may seem like a Godsend and they are. They are there for the reason you need them to be. Then, without any wrong doing on your part or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand. What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled, their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on.

Naruto and Hinata

Some people come into your life for a SEASON, because your turn has come to share, grow or learn. They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it, it is real. But only for a season!

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons, things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life. It is said that love is blind yes, but friendship is clairvoyant.

What Jesus Got for Christmas

"On the first day of Christmas my true love gave to me.." This is one of the most common song about the 12 days of Christmas.people who have no exposure to the Church Year Calendar will not understand why Christmas have 12 days, they may understand the part about giving gifts, but they have no idea why the gift-giving lasts 12 days. To them Christmas is one day—December 25—not 12, and that is the day to give presents.

The Epiphany, the Theopany

Well, if we were to count from December 25 to January 6, one would find that is a total of 12 days. So what’s so special about January 6? That is the day, not December 25, the ancient church celebrated as the most important day of the year (next to Easter), because on that day the Messiah appeared to the Gentiles, the Wise Men. Just as the season of Advent preceding Christmas reminds us of the coming of Christ at his birth, so the appearance of Christ to the Wise Men reminds us that God was in Christ fulfilling his promise to save the whole world. The Wise Men were only the first installment in God’s gracious plan to reclaim the mankind for himself. January 6 is the day the Church chose to celebrate the coming of the Wise Men, and they called it Epiphany, the Greek word that means "appearance" or "manifestation". There is another Greek word that has long been associated with that one, and it is Theophany, which means an "appearance of God". All through the Old Testament God appeared to various individuals in human or physical forms, and there is reason to understand those as appearances as the Son of God, prior to his coming as a baby in Bethlehem. Looking back from Old Testament appearances God was encouraging Jews and Gentiles alike to look forward to the day when he would finally appear as the Messiah to take away the sins of the whole world. So Epiphany is the celebration of the supreme Theophany. That appearance not only includes Christ’s baptism, but it also includes his powerful ministry to save the world.

The Magis

In Christian tradition the Magi, also known as the Three Wise Men, The Three Kings, or Kings from the East - although it is not said in the Bible how many Magi there really were - are sometimes considered to be Median, perhaps Iranian Zoroastrian priests, who were also proficient in astrology from Ancient Persia. The Gospel of Matthew states that they came "from the east to Jerusalem" to worship the Christ, "born King of the Jews". According to Matthew, they navigated by following a star which came to be known as the "The Star of Bethlehem". As they approached Jerusalem, Herod tried to trick them into revealing where Jesus was, so that he might be put to death. Upon finding Jesus, the Magi gave him three highly symbolic gifts: gold, frankincense and myrrh. Because three gifts were recorded, it is traditionally said to have been three Magi, though Matthew does not specify the number.

Christ's Presents

Gold . A familiar carol says it so well. “Born a King on Bethlehem’s, Gold I bring to crown Him again.” .. As Gold is the symbol of wealth, and power, and excellence. Isn't that We still give gold medals and trophies to those who achieve great things? Our wealth, signifies the investment of our time and the application of our abilities. Our “gold,” whether it’s money or some other entity, shows what’s important in our life. What we do with our “gold” reveals what we hold to be of greatest value. It was important to the Magi to find the Savior of the world, and when they found him they honored him with their substance, that gold that speaks of his royal authority. Therefore When Jesus receives Gold, its meant that he is "King"

Frankincense. “Frankincense to offer have I; incense owns a Deity nigh.” In the Bible, incense is a symbol of prayer and worship, for it was offered along with the sacrifices of the sanctuary. . When the Magi offered incense to the Christ child, they were acknowledging that they knelt in the presence of the holy. It was no mere earthly ruler who had come to birth in Bethlehem, but a heavenly one, the Son of God. How the wise men understood this we cannot tell, but they did, and their gift shows it. And so they came, worshiping — bending theie knees, falling down before the Christ, perhaps bowing in awed silence in the presence of a divine mystery they could not fathom. When the magi gave Jesus this present, it meant to say, that Jesus is Holy, as he is "God".

Myrrh. What kind of a gift is this for a newborn — myrrh, a spice used in preparing a body for burial? Death is usually the furthest thing from our minds when welcoming a new child into the world. Yet, somehow, the Magi knew that this child of Bethlehem was destined for death — not in the massacre of King Herod, who murdered many innocent children in trying to wipe out this threat to his rule, but death on a cross bearing the sins of the world. Somehow they understood what would happen to this child, and their understanding was perhaps confirmed when they saw the reaction of the Jerusalem leaders to the news they brought of the birth of a ruler. And so they came, kneeling in humility before a King, kneeling in worship before a God, and kneeling in sorrow before a Savior who would one day give his life for them. Myrrh being given to Jesus meant that those who are born will die, and that Jesus for the love of the world shows he is Human.

Eperformaxx Peeps

Fireworks Makes Me Cry

Im restless, ive been sitting infront of the monitor for almost 30 minutes now and yet i still dont know how to start, but yes, i have something in mind, rather something in my entire self thats worried about whats fast approaching now. The New Year.
I used to love holidays, splurge on the simple things it could bring, unfortunately no matter how much i try to inherit the ambiance of the season, i just cant, on the other hand, its rather like a curse to me, reminding me of how lucky some people are to be simply happy.
What does it take to be happy anyways? i was in the belief that im doing my best and thats i gave everything to be happy, i guess i was wrong because no matter how simple or complicated things are, the evidence is here. Emptiness. Nothing but emptiness..
Its funny that im afraid of something everyone else is excited about. Because thats something that would remind me that i was one of the very few lonely people , that , even my family or friends wont share the same feeling, as holidays like new year's eve is as special to them as it is with everyone else in the world. its the time that i will be reminded that, i am alone, because i cant be happy like the rest.
As much as beautiful fountains hurt my eye, as much as different colors in the sky astonish people, i will at that time be reminded that everyone is filled with joy and hopes, and i among everyone else, feels otherwise.
In the past years that i welcome the new year, i was sharing the same feeling with the rest of mankind, but now i am not, so whenever i see a magnificient show of fireworks in the sky, i cant help but envy those who enjoy the sight and how happy and fulfilling that would be for them to experience such grand spectacle. Because its true, astonishment touches hearts and shows true feelings, therefore happiness flows freely as much as sorrow.
Before, the sight of the new year bring me inate happiness and hope that overwhelms me, now its the other way around, each new year when i see fireworks display i shed tears for different reasons, but this time tears wont mean bewilderment, nor astomishment, nor joy, rather it would mean my deepest agony,my grief, my heartbreak, something ive been trying to cover with smiles and laughter and something ive been disposing of diligently.
Well, no matter what i do, i know its gonna come, i just hope the new year passes fast for me because i am really afraid to feel alone, seeming apart from the world and everyone else.
But i will be persistent until all the noises stop, until sparklers cease painting the night sky. I will resist, and like the rest of the world i will watch even if i am not sharing everyones spirit at the moment, even if fireworks makes me cry..

Missing in Action

Today, i learned that having true friends is really a treasure. Its that feeling that when you yourself are in pain, you want to outburst in tears upon seeing them, hearing their voice, reading their letter or text messages, makes you true to yourself, that hey, he's somebody who wont give a damn seeing how soft i am as a person, i can be true to myself should i want to break down, i can stop pretending that im OK and cry freely as i please.

I have a few friends and believe me, i can confide most to those i have not really seen in person, have not even heard his voice on the other line. But when i can feel their presence, im suddenly beginning to feel that its okay to cry, that i will be listened to, that i have somebody who cares for me, regardless..
Somehow, im a little sad because they seem to be floating away, and too little of the options i have to contact them, im extremely afraid, about them missing in action.

Just an email, just thru text..Hon
Hon (a call name) answered my email 2 days ago, i waited patiently for his reply and it took more than 2 months, i cant quite understand his letter to me, prior to that i have informed him that i have already ended my relationship with my partner. In the past 2 years, he was constantly with me in my continuous struggle, there was sometime that he was my source of strength, i value his words so much and i trusts him so much that he knows everything about the ups and downs of my relationship..In his reply he told me that he intended to not reply to me because he might say something not acceptable maybe not applicable and he worries that i may take that differently. I was delighted to hear from him, but more than that i was sad.. extremely sad, he did not even leave his celphone number, to think ive waited more than 2 months just for a reply. Evenso, i know that he really cares for me. Right Hon?
Irony, somebody who makes my complicated life a little better and somebody that i can only contact thru email and Text, i cant even text now bec i dont know his number..

Just thru YM, never seen each other, just heard voices
Intelasus thats his Mage's name in our RPG, waa whats happening to you im sick worried you ring my phone but when i answer its gone, im really worried about you and im afraid that you are a little mad at me, you told me that when i do something bad to myself you wont "pansin" me in heaven that you will just "deadma" me, but hey we are not in heaven yet but you are slipping away paps whats happening to you, Tampo nako sayo, you just tell me your contact number then ill call you overseas. kahit na mahal waaa.. i hate you na pag di moko tinawagan waaa.
Sickening, i heard your voice the first time after two years when you were already abroad, and now i cant even contact you because you did not give me your number or you must have forgotten, now that i want to hear you again, i have no means, no option but to wait.

The real deal, flesh, voice, message, and ehem some nice memories
He likes Red, I met him again and i was really expecting to see him in Eperformax because i know that he works there, but ive been with Eperf for quite some time already and still did not see him, only last Wednesday, I saw him in his favorite color, but he was quite indifferent to me, not my usual sweet Jiggs, really. I dont know, but im still making reservations, i know him and i know there must a reason why he can't even talk to me like he used to. When i saw him that night i want to hug him tight and start telling whats bothering me and what im really feeling, that i am hurt and that i am barely moving on, and that i feel so down and so little, i want to tell him everything like i used to, because i believe he care for me bec he's proven that more than any other friend could, much to my regret, he cant even talk to me, hurts me even more to feel that he cant even look at me, its still him, i know but, somehow it feels so different. Maybe its not my Jiggs, but just somebody else's boyfriend. I know, yeah right, i must be really guilty for ruining his relationship with Ira and with Tina, but i don't mean to.. i honestly don't mean to. Somehow, thinking back about the past made me sad, he might not be saying it but i know i have a major contribution for his past heartaches, he may not be blaming me but i know i have a fair share of blame, my existence in his life could be, he just could not say it.
Maybe, well just a lucky guess, maybe he was afraid to loose his girlfriend this time because of me.. not that we have a romantic relationship,no, we hardly see and talk to each other in the last two years, but just maybe, he was afraid that what happened to him with Ira and Tina, would happen again.. i dont want to realize that my hunch is true, because it would hurt me even more to let him go. He was a part of my life thats as important as my previous relationship, there was something beyond that i cant explain, nobody would understand how special he is to me. But should i prove that he was acting that way because my hunch is true, well.. well.. waaaaa. ayoko, pero sige..okay..kesa naman maging sad na naman sya.. I have always wanted to see him happy after all, he could be somebody else's boyfriend but he's still my Jiggs, and will forever be..

As much as i want to hear them, see them, feel them and make sumbong to them, i cant .. my beloved friends, my true friends are Missing In Action. Its really depressing, but i will wait, then again, hoping..wishful..longing

Oro (Orlo) the Fourth Planet

Yesterday, much to my surprise Aruarose launched a new patch with the 4th planet, Oro, the Planet of Gold. Im so happy that i want to go back playing Rose again hehehe, unfortunately the PC i have at home is only the minimum requirement so its very hard to play. But im still happy that i was able to see the fourth planet that we Prose players failed to experience..
Thanks to AruaRose GMs and Staff, as always Good Job guys!!

This is my character Hiraia standing in Kotopolis, Planet Orlo

Download ARUAROSE client now and register.

Not Just Imaginary

When i first learned how to play Online RPGs i never would have thought that I'll get so addicted and hooked into it. It was just a past time before then as i enjoy the environment in each and every login i make, the more fun levelling up and hunting became, making friends you could not really see, don't really know personally, it was fun, and i gave my all just to earn the trusts and love of the people in the server.
Unlike in RPG, i dont have so much friends, i am not an outgoing person and since i have devoted my most precious free time to my BF at that time, even going out with some of my closest friends seemed impossible, ROSE became our baby.
In contrast to what other people are saying, meeting online friends thru the game was a luck to me, because either i meet professionals or really nice people, some of them are actually textmates until now and even see each other during GAs.
These days were my lowest and last night i received a call from Dubai from a friend i thought only exist in ROSE, although when he was still in Manila he constantly emails me, checks on me, but, he never really get to talk to me or even hear me.He left for Dubai about a month now and i am very happy that he called me last night, i was so happy i cried for hours and hours and i was thankful thats theres still ONE good friend left to check on me, not chat with me, text me, but to talk to me, he was not my classmate, not my officemate, not my closest friend to consider. But he was the only .-ONLY person who managed to give me that much effort. Thank you Nelson.

Freakin' Heartbreak

Even after so many things that should have thought me how to be tough, i still feel weak, i still have so many questions and still hope for something that seems impossible..
Im so puzzled.. Until now, I dont understand the essence of loving and getting into a relationship, if not for a lifetime.. if humans have different capacities in intellect, why cant loving be an exception? Ive read so many self-help articles, even bought a book, isolated myself and seek professional help, ive prayed. Yes, i do.. People said that my mind is closed and i should accept the fact that after nine years its over, theres no more us, accept that the love i used to believe in the past 9 years is now an illusion, well infact i do, but then again, i cannot let go..
“Hearts break so it could open up for a new one”, catchy.., i read this line printed in one of the books i saw one time while strolling the mall, upon understanding the author's real thought i felt inspired and said to myself that he must be right, yeah.. but only after an hour of continues strolling a realization came to me like a conscience speaking, negating, contradicting the author's opinion – hearts break because somebody must have broken it, it opens up because somebody gets out of it.. you can call it a broken heart if it hurts, if it does not you call it freedom- but then again were not talking about freedom – we are talking about broken heart. For a moment, that authors opinion gave me a bit of hope..But i now realize, its just a consolation, after all, nobody whose entered a romantic relationship would think of it ending nor want it to end. No matter how healthy and good an experience broken heart can give, be real, nobody wants to be hurt nobody wants his/her heart broken regardless if it opens or not.
Waaahh.
I thought that im doing well, pretending im okay, im not hurt anymore..
Waaaahh..
I have so many questions but it all boils down to one generalization – that right now nothing can really make me feel better but myself and my own will to move on.. so many questions and yet the answers are just here – in my head..it is so simple and yet i cannot comprehend.
Gosh..Why am i writing something like this in my blog? when infact i know i wont get any answer and even if do.. will that be strong enough, encouraging enough to lift my spirit just for a few moment..like that line i saw a few days ago?. lifted me up a few hours, made me think that there's something joyful for me to look forward to..
Waaah, Im so helpless, i wish this will be over soon God knows how tired i am getting hurt, waiting. Hoping, doing my very best to let go, im doing something now i cant find the courage to do a year ago.. God help me..
Oh my Freaking Heartbreak HuuuShuu!.. Let Me Go.